pocketful of dreams.

read me like a book.

JANNAH.
20 on 24 Apr.
Lousy SN.
K-POP fanatic.
Loves GREY and PINK.

wishlist

*A Digi-Cam
*To attend a K-POP concert
*My Graduation
*A passable SN
*To be happy

oNe oF mY dAeS

Saturday, June 03, 2006 @ 8:46 PM

i'm scared shitless. seriously. i'm really bothered by this. if i were to go to sum other countries or sumthing and stay there forever and ever, wud anyone ever remember me? i think i wud be likely remembered in a split second but forgotten again bcoz they forgot my name or their frens call them. hmmm... if i were to be in another country, i wud be like so damn short. already asians are short and combined with my short genes, oh god. help.

a fren and i haven't been so close lately. i really dont blame the person. but, its just dat we thot we were really close but i hardly ever see the person. the person wud usually be wiht another fren or sumthing. i have a familiar stirring in my memory but i squashed it like a bug or sumthing else since im too much of a coward to squah a damn bug. anyway, i dismiss the thot. i slapped a hand to my head and shook my head violently. this person was different. i wud not tell u abt this any longer. i just wanted to get this off my chest. if the person is reading this, i want to tell u that i've miss u terribly.

that helmy guy is gone i think. i dont know. he called recently. he told me tat maybe this isnt werking. i knew what he meant, i'm not stupid dammit. he wished me luck. bullshit. like i ever need luck to find a guy. i felt like crying at firz, then i feel an urge to just slam the phone down. and i did. he called back, i told him im fine and i need to be alone. rytttteeeeeeee.. like i need to be alone in this kind of situations. but i have no one to call this kind of time. its either i know they're out or they're not close. so fer a long moment i was all alone. i wiped the stupid wetness off my cheeks and watch tv. i'm over him. it gets faster everytime. i cud only wish it gets less painful too.