pocketful of dreams.

read me like a book.

JANNAH.
20 on 24 Apr.
Lousy SN.
K-POP fanatic.
Loves GREY and PINK.

wishlist

*A Digi-Cam
*To attend a K-POP concert
*My Graduation
*A passable SN
*To be happy

oNe oF mY dAeS

Thursday, May 25, 2006 @ 9:39 PM

I don't wanna do this anymore

I don't wanna be the reason why

Everytime I walk out the door

I see him die a little more inside

I don't wanna hurt him anymore

I don't wanna take away his life

I don't wanna be...

A murderer

i know i've done wrong. i tried very hard to keep this just between us. i never told anyone bout u. i kept quiet. but i let my feelings show sumtyms. when i'm unbelieveble happy or chirpy in sch and people asked me why the hell am i so happy? i wud just lie and make up sum excuse. bcoz u told me not to say. this is the worst and best-kept secret i've ever kept. i have an urge to tell all my frenz bout u but u sayd no. so i shut up. but i styl tell people i love you. its just bcoz u share the same name with one of my ex.

but im not that kind of girl you want. i would like to whole world to noe if i have sum1. so i took new boyfriends.i showcased them to the world. doing sumthing i cannot with you.

i love the tyms i spend with u. the hugs u gave me when i lied about me cold. the kisses on the forehead u give when i complained and whined about my miserable life. the way you hold my hand bcoz u're scared i wud get lost. the arm you wrapped around my waist when sum other boy looks at me. if my show-cased boyfren were to msg-ed, i wud lied to you saying its one of my girlfrens. i knew you were doubting me but u styl smile and squeezed my hand.

remember the tym, we went out to the beach. we were walking along the beach and a kid cums running and pushing u into the water. i laughed and ran awae bcoz u were coming to take revenge. when u caught up with me, u told me that when we have children, we wud teach our them not to hit strangers in love. my smile faded and i walked to your Scrambler. you shrugged it off and took me home.

that day was a bad day fer me from the start. i shud have known i was better off at home. my gran nagged, i cudnt find my watch, the com got stuck and all. it started raining when i came down to meet you. i went to the washroom to comb my hair and re-apply my makeup. when i came back, u didnt return my hug. u gave me my bag and my phone. u looked at me and sayd that my boyfren called. i tried to laugh it off and smiled. but u didnt. u knew. u took my hand and kissed my cheek. we styl went to wacth the movie but u nvr once smiled at me. you took me home and left before i even got to apologize and explain.

when we met the next tym, u did not held my hand. i got distracted by something and when i look up, u were gone. i tipt-toed but i cudnt see u anywhere. with the crowd and my height. i sighed and remember Azura and Kay's advice to bring a balloon. i cudnt call u bcoz my dad didnt gave me my phone. so i just stood ard then as the crowd thinned, i made my way to the MRT to go home. i walked past a group of boys and they looked at me. i know i wasnt dead gorgeous but i knew i looked good in this outfit. i ignored them but they followed me. i turned and they made sure i knew. my heart beat faster. i turned round a corner and into your arms. you hugged me tight and gave a seething look to the dumbasses. u kissed my face and whispered that when u lost me,u felt like the whole world was pulled under you. u sayd u love me and u will nvr let me go even if i was unfaithful to u.

but u lied. u pulled MY world unfer me when u broke up with me todae. i didnt go school todae so i met u. u hugged me and gave me the best kiss ever. u told me in your beloved voice of yours that we had best go our separate ways. we were better off that wae. i kept shaking my head with tears running down my face. i cudnt function without u. u are my pillar of strength. u saw me cry and i knew u almost cry too. u kiss my tears awae and hugged me. i cudnt believe this. i pushed u away. i accused you of lying about loving me. u followed me and pulled me once more into your embrace. u whispered that u love me and always will. i sobbed to you and stood alone when u kissed me on the forehead fer the last tym before going in the rain to your Scrambler. u watched me thru ur tinted helmet and gave a stupid wave. i cudnt even lift my arm to wave back. u started ur engine and rode your way out of my life. i didnt even get to tell the most impt thing. that i love you so much, Helmy.

When you left

I lost a part of me

It's still so hard to believe

Come back baby please

We belong together